Midge Ure targeted by Muslamic extremists.

by John Littlejohn

Midge Ure (1924-2012)

The desecrated corpse of 80s pop-sensation Midge Ure (pictured) was recently found nailed to the backpack of a Muslamic suicide bomber. The explosion which ripped through Midge Ure’s torso blew his spleen off and made his face look a bit crooked.

Muslamic group the ‘Jihad of fire and blood and death to the infidel brigade’ recently published a poorly shot video on that internet they have nowadays –ironically using decadent Western technology to spread their message against the decadent West. The video depicted a man dressed as a terrorist ranting about something or other in some language that we don’t care to learn or translate – that’s how they win. Another less-credible news-source had the video translated which pointed to Midge Ure’s involvement in Band Aid as the main reason for the atrocity.

In the translated video, a terrorist said “do we know Christmas? No, we fucking – it imperialism and offensive to great prophet. God is the great, we will crusade of mercy. Ha! We will never!”

The Dodo Times believe that the Muslamics are targeting all singers involved in the Band Aid project. Though we will be sorry to see 80s pop-sensation Andrew Ridgley’s head being kicked around on the YouTube, and George Michael’s decapitated hands being used as a macabre door-stop, we welcome any moves to put a stop to Bono and would gently point the terrorists towards Paul McCartney’s face.