Footballer Steven Gerard unable to answer simple question.

by Colin Collymore, Sportsdesk

A top footballer has been asked the question ‘Who are ya?’ by crowds on many occasions without ever answering. When asked about this, the player in question just mumbled something about the teama nd blurted out “110%” before driving away in his tinted-windowed penis-shaped car.

The player in question who has become known as Stevie G. by his followers seems to have simply forgotten his real name.

After his performance in the matinee showing of Liverpool Vs. Southampton, The Dodo Times approached Mr. Gerard (pictured) and asked him outright: “Who are ya?”. He had a long and gormless think about the question before replying that he’s “just a small part of the team, the lads did great and that now we can really kick on and head up the table”.

We were approached by one young fan who showed us the classic Panini football sticker depicting Mr. Gerard elbowing a DJ in the face; where one would normally find the name of the footballer depicted, instead we find just a big shaky cross. The pride in the boy’s face was palpable as he added that when he grows up he wants to be just like that person, whatever his name may be.

The future is not looking too bright, but it’s certainly much brighter than Stevie G.