An Urgent Appeal from the Dodo Times.

Every year, between the months of January and Movember, over one hundred thousand Santas are jobless and hungry. Many of them have to turn to basic lager and Aldi brand mince pies to see them through this traumatic period.

Tragically, due to the extreme seasonal nature of their lot, the number of Santas is on the decline. Experts predict that there will be as few as seven hundred by the year 2014, with extinction by 2025.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been naughty or nice; just a one-off payment of £10 per-month could be enough to save a Santa… and save our Christmas.

Please call our donation line now on 0871-I-l-u-v-s-a-n-t-a to pledge whatever you can* to help these brave sex-offenders-register-dwelling men have a happier life.

* Minimum donation £10 per month, minimum donation term 60 months. All proceeds go to help Santas across the nation minus a 98.6% administration deduction from the Dodo Times. Calls charged at £1 per minute or parts thereof