Breaking News: Football match goes off without any fuss.

by Colin Collymore, Sportsdesk

In a bizarre turn of events, the recent football match between Chelsea Rovers FC and Preston United, which finished 2-1 to the home team, was completely free of any controversy.

Chelsea scored two goals before the interval then Preston scored one soon after the half-time brandy break.

Preston United’s managing supervisor, Neil O’Neill (pictured) was quick to comment after the game: “Yeah, it was okay. Both sets of players put on an adequate performance and the referee was certainly at the match too”.

Rovers’ Chief Whip, David Blackpool was also in a hurry to speak at the microphone: “Both sets of players put on a football match; the fans were in attendance and the referee too”.

However, not everyone is as content as the two in charge of their respective clubs.

We caught up with the head of the Chelsea Rovers Association of Supporters after the match, Peter Fathead, who spewed these words of wisdom whilst eating a Pukka Pie which was the flavour of eloquence and Chicken Tikka: “we supporters pay good money to see these football matches; I am appalled at the lack of crunching tackles or even the occasional little dive, so much so that I had to start our supporters singing about Johnny Foreigner. It’s a disgrace and they need to sort it out, I bought a new pair of Opera Glasses for these footer matches, I want to see more” added the jolly cockney porker before retreating back to his swanky Fulham apartment.